Hey lovelies!!! It's been a while since I've posted on here. I've been a bit busy with life and trying to get a job but I will for sure be here to post at least once a week, if not every other day since I like this way of letting out feelings and sharing my thoughts about life with you guys. So I've been in an up and down mood lately cause of recent events.
First off I am excited to announce that I am indeed going to vidcon this coming Aug 1-3!! I am super excited. I am going with my cousin and I hope that by that time I have some subscribers on youtube since I do have that channel. (Btw I filmed some new videos and I'm editing them and hopefully will release that out soon!!)
Secondly, I've been having a few problems at university and to be completely honest I don't even know if I belong at school. I don't like it. I'm not happy and I feel trapped and forced to go to school just for my parents. It's that asian thing. I don't want to disappoint them anymore so I force myself to go to school, but I feel like this is like high school all over again. I think as an adult I should be able to choose whether or not I can make it out there in the real world before going to school. I don't feel motivated at all and to be honest I just want to be happy in life. Is that weird? I'd rather be happy, feel loved, be content with my life, than go to college. I think if I went to a school where I was more interested in subjects then I would enjoy it more and be more motivated. Then again, I did get myself into this situation. Maybe I should tell them what I really want to do...and not lie and have them choose for me...but I'm scared cause we always end up arguing at each other and not understanding each other. I just don't want them to be disappointed in me anymore. I want us to have that normal relationship where I don't have to lie to them anymore.
Thirdly, I've been thinking about moving somewhere. I want to explore and be in charge of my own life without having to think that I am bothering anyone else. I want to be free and be an adult and make my own decisions, but how can I do that when I still live and thrive of my parents. That's why I need to work and one day I'll be somewhere else. Maybe I'll move to la and find what I want to do there. Maybe something out there is waiting for me and I'm just missing my opportunity by going to school.
Fourth on the list, is I have a job now!! Yay for summer jobs!! Yay for earning money!!! And being able to make and earn my own money. To be honest I really enjoy earning my own money, it gives me a sense of pride and responsibility and makes me love that I don't have to rely on my parents for money in the summer. It's an amazing feeling to know that your being paid for your hard work and what not.
Lastly, I've been trying to be healthier cause I want to look sexy when I go to vid con!! I want to meet my favorite youtubers and them to be like damn...you hot!! Haha. SO I've been working out loads lately by following the blogilates june month of fitness, though I do work out twice a day. It gets really tiring though. Though I need to put myself in a strict diet cause I basically eat everything I want in life and its just whatever. I need to start being more serious. I have cheat days which is basically a whole weekend. I want to live a healthier lifestyle and I have vowed to not buy clothes untilI lose 20 lbs and notice a difference.
So theres my post for today. I will post another post in a bit because it is late and I do have work tomorrow.
Here's my inspiration of the day:
Until then... spread love and keep your head up!!
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